There is no doubt that having your adult child cut all ties with you is a devastating loss that affects you mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. This type of family ghosting is a tremendous loss for older adults who very much need connection and support from loved ones. How can this rift be addressed? Are there legal options in these scenarios? The answer is complicated.
Your Best Interest
For older adults, needing help is an inevitable reality. Whether making financial choices, medical decisions, or asset distributions, there will come a time when a helping hand is required. Who can you trust to have your best interests in mind during this time?
A power of attorney can be used when you need someone else to make decisions on your behalf. This person should be someone you trust to act with integrity and put your needs before theirs. Being abandoned by your family when you need them most can feel unbearable, and it certainly doesn't suggest that they can fulfill a power of attorney role.
A fiduciary is a person or entity that is legally and ethically bound to act in your best interest. They fill this role when your children cannot. Having someone you can trust to make crucial decisions on your law offices behalf is a tremendous relief when you feel like you've been facing a storm alone. Your power of attorney does not need to be a family member, and a fiduciary can perform this job better than children dictated by their own self-interests.
A Delicate Balance
Many parents may hesitate to take official steps toward protecting their assets and finances for fear of widening the law attorney rift between themselves and their adult children. This is an understandable concern. When an adult child law attorney decides to sever the relationship with their parents, there is always a reason, even if the parents don't agree with or understand it.
Is changing your power of attorney, beneficiaries, or other estate planning documents the best way forward? Legal action rarely mends broken relationships. Limiting your child's control over your finances and restricting their decision-making power is not exactly an olive branch, but it is sometimes necessary to protect yourself and your future.
There is no one-size-fits-all advice in these scenarios. Is it best to give your adult child space and time to sort through their feelings? Should you give them advance warning that you intend to choose a fiduciary instead of them? The answer is different for everyone.
Being ghosted by your family can certainly feel like emotional abuse, but deciding the best way forward is not so obvious. Connecting with others in similar situations, attending counseling sessions, or learning from estrangement resources can provide solace, especially when the outcome is uncertain.
Susan Wasserman is an Attorney in the State of Ohio.
Wassermanlawoffices.com